Copyright (c) 2008 Ainsley Laing
Do not be afraid; eventually, with persistence, determination, patience and with help from others, everything will be sorted out. Just hang in there!
Blushing is an instantaneous physical response to a situation we find potentially embarrassing, and it is a big problem for many people who have social anxiety disorder.
Precisely and wisely, William Shakespeare said: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
(Please note: Not everyone who blushes has social anxiety, and not every личность with social anxiety blushes.)
An example of this might be when you feel you are made the centre of attention and everyone is looking at you. Or, maybe someone has singled you out and put you on the spot by asking you a question in front of other people. Perhaps the supervisor at work comes up behind you, surprises you, and asks you a question for which you don’t have the answer.
Assigning meaning to your life right now is a matter of bringing the sense of purpose to down to a day to day level. Ask yourself: what is the real motivation for doing the things you do?
Your power of mind gives you the perfect opportunity to control and to guide your thinking in the right direction – positive thinking. Take my advice and exercise it every day. Make it a habit. Make it your second nature. That will bring desirable transformation in your attitude towards everything and everybody. The power of mind is the most powerful tool you can ever posses.
All of these situations are potential triggers to people whose social anxiety symptoms include blushing.
Many times there is an element of surprise involved… you weren’t expecting something to happen and when it does, you blush. The blushing then embarrasses you and you are afraid that others interpreted your blushing as being strange or weird.
The physiological response of blushing is traumatizingly real, but it is typically set off by circumstances that may or may not be totally real in nature.
Let me try to explain this more clearly.
It is our perception of what is happening that makes us respond in the way we do. That is, it is the way we view the situation filtered by our beliefs that will cause you to blush.
Identify your purpose. Do not even think about failure.
As an example if you have the belief that everyone is out to hurt you versus a belief that everyone is out to help you, your perception of the world will vary greatly and you will respond accordingly.
Why do you go to work? What contributions do you make in your job to enrich the lives of others? Some jobs are easy to place value. If you work as a fireman, a stay-at-home parent or garbage collector, these jobs make direct contributions to society. If you work as an accountant or office administrator though you may have to look a bit deeper. Let’s not discount that working to contribute money to the family is valuable.
Major rejections can be devastating and can change your life. They can take years to get over – but get over them you can. And here too introspection and trying to see the “whole picture can help.
A stick of sugarless gum after a meal can help your mouth to cleanse itself of food particles by stimulating the saliva glands.
You are not alone
If your bad breath continues, you may need to seek professional help. A dentist may be able to spot a problem and offer a solution.
Allow it to yourself, you cant get over this guy if you cant rest without caressing the little teddy bear he left you or if you have photos of him erect all over your room! Get rid of the cards, letters, trinkets, and any other things that prompt you of him. The most serious thing you require to do to run on is to TRY.
Finally, you should realise that you are not alone in having to face rejection and failure. Everyone faces them. A. J. Cronin’s classic novel, The Stars Look Down, was rejected a couple of dozen times by publishers before it was accepted. Edison tried hundreds of times before he finally made a light bulb that worked.
Interpersonal skills are essential for a successful life. Be it in the workplace or your private life, all social interactions rely on you having good communication skills. How many times have you been in a situation where you are captivated by the личность who has developed these skills, they are at the centre of the conversation, they have the ability to hold your interest, in short they have excellent social and communication skills.
So, don’t be afraid of failure and rejection. Take chances in life because it is this that makes you learn and grow as a личность. Yes, if you take chances, you will sometimes face failure and you will feel rejected.
Join a cooking class, get guitar lessons, write, search for different ways to keep yourself busy. As long as you have something consuming up your time, you wont get your thoughts straying towards him.
Development of relationships requires you to develop mutual trusts with other individuals, to strike up a rapport to gain their confidence. Once this is achieved you are in a position for others to listen to your views as they will now feel comfortable and relaxed in your presence.
But if you face failure and rejection boldly and learn from them, you will enrich your lifeBeing a good communicator is like any other skill, you more you practice and use it the better you become. Why? Because being a good communicator should be a way of life, it should become a habit not one that you switch off and on at any given moment.
If all else goes bad, look for new boyfriend! Never mind if he isnt the hottest there is, all you want is somebody to help you get over this. This may sound very awful, but it really works!
The old sayings that first impressions are the most important are so true. It is widely agreed that the first 10-15 seconds of meeting someone for the first time are the most important. It is in this brief moment in time that the perception of who you are is established. To make this good impression in those vital 10-15 seconds it is essential that you have good interpersonal skills.
There is a particular law popularly known as the law of Indirect Effort. According to this law, most things in human life are achieved more easily by indirect means. In other words, you are more of a leader to others by demonstrating that you have qualities of leadership than you do by ordering them to follow your directions. Instead of working so hard to get people follow your lead, you simply concentrate on living a life that is so admirable that others want to be like you without you saying a word. Hear this, having a title of “CEO” or “MD” does not make you a leader with “CREDIBILITY”. The former comes with position, the later must be earned. If you are in a position of leadership, do not be carried away by the euphoria of the title or position. In fact, that will be a fatal flaw because leadership is less dependent on title or position than it does by influence. Without credibility, power is virtually worthless.
In organizations, DISCIPLINE is important in the область of behavior but is even more important in the область of systems.
Organizational DISCIPLINE centers on systems!
Businesses, military organizations, government organizations, nonprofit organizations, charitable organizations, and religious organizations all operate based on systems.
So what is a system?
Most organizational systems are either a report or a meeting. Think about it. This is a very simple, yet extremely profound distinction.
Most organizational systems are either a report or a meeting!
It may be a morning meeting in which your organization has to discuss the priorities for the day. It may be a review meeting that is supposed to be held at the end of every project. Or, it may be a religious service that is held at a particular time and on a particular day of the week.
It may be a report that is supposed to be submitted whenever a customer makes a complaint. It may be an expense report that is supposed to be made at the end of every month. Or it may be a financial report that is made quarterly to the shareholders.
At the end of the day, most systems come down to either a meeting or a report, or a combination of the two.
So the question is how disciplined are you and your organization at actually carrying out the reports and meetings that define how you operate and keep you on course?
How consistent are you?
The best organizations in the world live their systems as if they were a religion. Their meetings are held on schedule, people report on time, and the tasks set out in the strategic plan get executed without fail.
The best organizations live their systems as if they were a religion—in a word, they have DISCIPLINE!
What happens in your organization, if anything, when the report is not filed or the meeting is not held or the required behavior does not take place?
Does your organization effectively reinforce the behaviors, reports, and meetings that it has established in advance?
Most organizations are woefully undisciplined.
People behave mostly as they want, when they want, with no immediate or significant consequences whatsoever.
But you are no longer going to run your life or your organization that way!
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At a certain point our lives don’t change much. We’re moving around on automatic pilot and don’t notice the sameness that has taken over-sometimes for many years. We’ve gotten used to very little occurring in our lives beyond our daily routine, and many people become comfortable with that, or just accept it. Somewhere along the way our lives got stale. We’re stuck in a rut. But don’t despair; being in control of your own life is being in control of your wellness!
More and more people are regaining control of their lives and changing their futures. They’re setting goals and reaching them, they’re feeling better, being happier, getting healthier and spending more time and energy on what matters to them. Their outlook on life has improved dramatically.
As you know, the concept of wellness covers a broad range-with different definitions depending on where you look. But for starters, let’s use the following-wellness is the belief that improvement is possible throughout our lives. We’re continuously seeking information on how we can improve. We’re choosing options and making decisions that support our best interests. Everything we think, feel and believe impacts our whole being. You are in command of all aspects of your life-physical, career, relationships, finances, spiritual, environment, and emotional well-being, and so on. You can break free and take charge of your life. Try these simple ways to discover how you can start moving towards taking control of your life and wellness.
1. Turn lack of time into more time.
“I don’t have the time,” that’s what John, a corporate attorney, constantly told himself and others. He knew he wasn’t alone. Lack of time was a concern for nearly every личность he knew. John really wanted to be happier and healthier, but he just didn’t have free time to date, visit family, exercise, or any of the other things that made him happy. When John decided he had to take control of his wellness, the first thing he did was regain ownership of his time. He examined how he spent his time on an average day. By jotting down his daily activities and realigning his priorities, John found opportunities to include the things he really cared about in his daily life.
2. Reclaim your energy.
Megan, a wife, mom and marketing executive, was always tired. She had no energy to meet the demands of her job, do housework, run errands, cook, take care of her children, or the other priorities that made up her day. Megan desperately needed to reclaim her energy-but instead, she let people drain it, steal it and suck it away. To begin, Megan examined the areas of her life that needed more attention and focus. She also drew new boundaries to protect herself, by declaring what she would and wouldn’t allow. Instead of working 12 hours, Megan cut her workday to no more than nine hours. She stuck to her plan, reclaimed her energy, and is there for her family and job with a new, revitalized energy.
3. Make lasting changes.
“Our resistance to making lasting changes is innate,” says Jeff, a mortgage loan officer. “It’s such a big challenge for everybody.” He constantly told himself that his inner resistance to making changes would stay with him forever. Jeff’s first step was to recognize that resistance is always the initial barrier to making changes. For example, losing the 70 pounds his doctor recommended would offset having to take daily medication for his Type II diabetes. Jeff started by being open to seeing the positive side of change-i.e., first making a decision to change, and then enlisting help in doing so. He joined the YMCA, and now participates in Tai Chi and walks five days a week. He’s also met with a nutritionist who has helped him gain a better understanding of what to eat in order to maintain his overall health and well-being. Jeff has lost 30 pounds and continues to maintain a healthy, balanced diet.
4. Set boundaries around your life.
What’s one of the shortest words-yet so difficult for many people to utter? If you guessed “No,” you’re right on the money. Sidney, a customer service supervisor was so afraid of saying no that when someone asked her to do something, she felt queasy inside because she wanted to say no, but felt uncomfortable actually doing it. The first thing she needed to do was learn her limits. She realized that learning to say no to the things that she didn’t want to do would help her reduce the stress of excessive demands on her time and energy. Sidney could say no in a way that was comfortable to her, yet respectful to the other личность. Many people believe when someone makes a request of you, you must say yes, but saying no isn’t that horrible! When Sidney began saying no, it changed her whole life; she found her “to do” list shrinking. She recognized that it was her choice to either overload her schedule or only accept requests to do something when she wanted to.
5. Take excellent care of yourself.
Eden, an emergency room specialist, wanted to improve her quality of life. She was bored with her daily routine, and her social life was nonexistent. Eden began making changes for the better by putting her needs first. She focused on what she wanted, instead of others’ desires. She began scheduling two social activities on her calendar each month, in order to create a social life. Eden never really enjoyed living in the suburbs, but she was close to her job. She put together an action plan for re-inventing her life. The first thing she did was sell her house in the suburbs and move to a more urban environment in which she always dreamed. She could walk to quaint caf?’s, visit bookstores, shops and attend local festivals and art fairs right in her neighborhood. She started networking and began to meet new people on a regular basis. Eden’s life has become more satisfying and fulfilling.
It’s certainly a personal choice to get on the road to feeling better, being happier and getting healthier. It’s a choice you should consider making. For those of you reading this article, I challenge you to take a few moments to assess how you’re feeling. How’s your energy level? How much “me” time do you take on a daily basis? How’s your overall self-care? Consider how much better you know you could be with some effort, commitment, and support. Now is the time to make time in your schedule for you.
Concentrate on the end result joyfully! Think of each piece of the puzzle with all five senses! Technocolor vision it!!
* Sharpen your mind and increase your levels of creativity.
Taking the right steps immediately to find the career change or job options open to you may propel you into a completely different and more fulfilling lifestyle.
That’s why these seldom happen, because a личность’s heart just isn’t into the should or the ought.
* Strengthen your relationships with loved ones and family members.
Do not for one minute consider this as a slight on your ability to perform your job. In fact, such thoughts can be mentally and emotionally destructive and can hinder your chances of moving ahead, so do not allow them to control your actions. Nor should you waste time and energy feeling aggrieved at your former employer. Dont waste your time bound up in what has happened. Focus your energies now on what is right for you, your family and what the future has to hold. After all, your future is something you can influence, your past is not.
We discussed New Years Resolutions. Most people come up with resolutions they think they “should” do, like losing weight or quit smoking.
During our lifetimes it has never been so critical to understand that coping with stress and learning to eradicate it from our lives are worlds apart. Weight gain is one of the major problems and direct effects when you are coping with stress. A disrupted digestive system is directly linked to prolonged stress, add this to any over eating (comfort eating) and inactivity and weight gain is highly likely and difficult to contain.
Once you have dealt with the intial shock of redundancy, it can be an exciting time to reassess and re-evaluate what is important when considering your future options.
We discussed the amazing experience Joan had on Second Life the night a few of us assisted Joan in the visualization of her dream house on the beach!! We kept at it until she had the vision firmly in her mind’s eye!
It may take a little research on your behalf to find the best solution to meet your needs and budget, however very affordable systems are now available on the internet that can do all of the above and more. Giving you back the power to stop coping with stress and start to eliminate your stress.
Think of it from the positive slant and remember that although you may be feeling overwhelmed it is your job position, not you that has been made redundant! That may seem like semantics, but it is an important distinction to make. People often report an initial feeling of worthlessness and a general feeling of not being wanted. It is not at all unusual or unnatural to feel this way, but your employer has in fact found it necessary to cut certain positions in order to make the company more cost effective.
A resoluton from the heart is an evolution, says Velma. Plans for Moon, Moo & You came about at the New Year and we had a vision about the show. So now we say Moon, Moo & You was a New Year’s Evolution.